Just rambling

This is probably a blog post you want to skip. I need to just go through this big rambling thing with myself. So my boss calls up and tells me that another person said that they had problems with me. Which started this long conversation of is this what I really want? Then he says that a lot more people have been talking about me. So yeah that pissed me off. Then I'm just sitting here thinking what the hell am I doing here. Why the hell am I here. Not like I'm going to school. Not like I have any friends. Obviously don't have a job where I do a good job. So then I thought if I was to go back to Texas who would miss me? Seriously who in the world would miss me? Obviously not my co-worker because he loves to talk about me behind my back. Obviously not the customers. Obviously not my boss. So I'm sitting here thinking what the hell do I want out of life. What the hell am I good at. Answer....nothing. I can sit here and write a blog. I can write reviews, but do you know how hard those jobs are to get? Then I sit here and think do I even want to be around people anymore. Obviously everyone here is two faced. Very two faced. So am I happy here? Answer sounds like a big no. What do I look forward to in a day? The night time. No work. So again why am I here? Why don't I just go back home and be with people that actually want to be around me? Like I said I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what job I want. All I know is my goal is to make it to 170 lbs and get my 3rd and final tattoo. Yeah those are my big goals. I mean I thought I was helping people, but it turns out for every 1 person I help 5 pop up and say I was a jack ass. And of those 5, 4 where me asking if they needed help then them saying no I'm just looking. Then I shift from foot to foot. That 1 is someone who just was rude. Either they said our prices where way out there, or they said they could get it cheaper on the internet, or no matter how much I tried to help them they kept finding problems so I gave up. Like I said I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. Just a hopeless mess. Everyone keeps telling me go back to school. Well I don't know what the fuck I want to do. How the hell can I go to school if I don't know what the hell I want to do? Just don't know anymore. Maybe I should go home and just flip burgers for the rest of my life. Honestly I'm just stuck at a fork in the road and I don't even have an clue how to determine which one to take. I go to school and I waste who knows how many years to find out I hate what I studied, or I keep working here and more people come out of the woodwork to say they hate me, or I go home and try to make something work. Honestly I don't know, but I do need to figure it out soon. Real soon.
Right now I'm feeling numb. So I figured I'd post Numb by Linkin Park. Kinda been holding onto this song just in case I well ever felt like this. So here it is. Enjoy or don't. Like I said right now I'm numb so I really don't care. You can't live in denial mainly because humans weren't born with gills. Yay puns.